DECADES

i can feel the earth crack as trapped remnants of the dead self escape through each fissure without saying goodbye, just like how insignificant my last day was, just quietly shutting down, just like how my grandma left, quietly shutting down, and hopefully that’s how my end will unfold until i’m done with all there is to be done even though these days flashes of statements, not ideas tell me I’m already done which strangely made me look forward to the final act but then claude tells me i’m not done yet. why build something that goes away but my little niece shows me how fun it is to destroy what was painstakingly built because something new will always emerge. so exorcise all stubborn demons of pride, doubt and fear. keep my head low do the work. savor the journey ignore the destination because time passes by anyway why not spend on real hard work plant the seeds everyday lay the bricks everyday don’t chase the transient likes, for only the best emerges after decades of quiet work and even if the best is still germinating the endless days of toil will humble me about life before i finally declare that i’m really done.